Wednesday, May 27, 2009

I am Augustus Gloop

At least I am stuck like him.

You all remember that scene right? Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory, and not the Johnny Depp version, Augustus has fallen into the chocolate river only to be sucked up the large pipe where he becomes thoroughly wedged in the pipe and the oompa loompas sing about how fat and greedy he is.

I feel like I am wedged in the same 2 pounds. Up 2, down 2, up 2, down 2. It's getting quite old. I can only hope that as Augustus finally unstuck and went shooting up the pipe, so will my weight go shooting down. I may have to give up the tacos for that to happen, at somepoint I will stop saying next week.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

The point of a blog is to write about you life.

So while this may not be entirely weight loss related, it is in a larger sense of things. So talking about my insecurities is hard, but most of you that read this are family, or might as well be, so I hope you’ll love me anyways.

Most of the time I am happy with who I am and what I look like. That wasn’t always the case. High school was hard, as it is for most people; I was surrounded by tiny girls that dated up a storm and I generally always felt inadequate.

Then I took this low opinion of myself to college. Eventually I found myself in a relationship that was good for the most part, until it wasn’t. Looking back, I know I stayed in it because I was afraid that if I broke up with him I wouldn’t find anyone else. In the end, it was pretty ugly, but when it was finally over I realized how much the relationship had only been reinforcing my insecurities. Then and there I decided I deserved better. Through that and an amazing group of friends, I learned that I can say “I’m awesome and any guy would be lucky to have me just as I am” and really mean it. And yes, I would like to lose weight and be thinner, but if that doesn’t happen, life will still be great.

This week I have found myself slipping back into my old, self doubting habits. I have a date on Saturday, and in my head it’s a pretty big date. All of the other dates I’ve been on have been with people I don’t already know and don’t have a pre-existing friendship with, guys who I know that if the date doesn’t go well, I never have to see them again. This date is pretty much the opposite of that, we currently hang out a lot, and it’s a given that the hanging out will continue even if the dating part of things doesn’t. Given that I was the one that finally said “let’s have dinner” the running commentary in my head has been something like “why in the world does he want to have dinner with you?” And my friends can say “because you are amazing” until they are blue in the face and deep down I know they are right, but there will always be that voice in the back of my head screaming the doubts.

Sometimes I wonder if the quest to be the “perfect” size only reinforces those doubts.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Sorry I didn't know the rules ...

I've just been informed that the number one rule of blogs is blog. And I've had good intentions to blog this week, I just haven't. I also had goo intentions to eat right and work out a lot, that didn't really happen either. We had a rather large event at work yesterday and I've been super busy trying to get videos and thank you gifts and flowers and all sorts of other things ready for it. And while I would like to say that I was totally prepared for this, that I had gone to trader joes and bought stuff to make salads and that I was super conscious of not stress eating, that's just not what happened. This week has been more like busy busy crazy oh taco busy cookie crazy 20 min of Jillian shower sleep repeat.

Now that the event it over, no more excuses. Game On!

Monday, May 11, 2009

A New Goal Dress

2 entries in one day, what is the world coming to?

On a cleaning expedition my mother found this.

She has declared it my new goal.

I have a few issues with this.

a) I wore this in middle school. MIDDLE SCHOOL!! I had no real girls then, I mean I had some, but they are never going to be that size again, they are not going to fit into this dress

b) This dress is so short it barely covers the goods. I hope it covered them back then.

c) This dress screams early 90's quite loudly. This dress should never see the light of day. I would not be seen in public in this dress, so this dress cannot be my goal.

I offer up an alternative. Now this dress is pretty. This dress is completely appropriate for Peter's Wedding. Not only can I dress this up or down, and wear it with farm appropriate shoes. This dress is so much more my style. It is fun and flirty and a little bit different. I so rarely hide behind plain black anymore. I think all the dresses I wore to semi formals and formals in high school and middle school were all black or very dark with very few exceptions. Now I have nothing against the perfect little black dress. They will be classic for ever and a day, but they don't strike me as fun. I feel a goal dress needs to be a bit showy, something that says look at me, look at how freaking hard I've worked, look how freaking hott I am. Yes I know black is slimming and and flattering and bla bla bla. For a goal dress; go big or go home.

I may need a new set of legs

'Cause mine are so not happy with me.

I did day 1 of Jillian Michaels 30 day shred on sat and walked 6 miles and change with mommykins on Sunday, it's a good thing I don't spend all day going up and down stairs, oh wait...

So Jillian is kicking my butt, I realize that is the point, but still, it has been a long long time since I have been quite this sore. The whole theory of the video is if you are only going to work out for 20 minutes a day, they are going to be a freaking hard 20 minutes. There are 3 levels, you are supposed to work your way though them, hypothetically over 30 days. Each level consists of a warm up, then 3 rounds of 3 minutes of strength, 2 minutes of cardio, 1 minute of abs, then a cool down. If this shapes up my arms it will all be worth it. The only things you need in addition to the dvd are hand weights. My goal is to do it every day for the next 30 and add additional cardio in maybe every other day, wish me luck, I'm definitely going to need it.

Friday, May 8, 2009

And thus my first goal slinks away in shame

 It's been all of ONE DAY, and already I have failed at the post something every day goal.  This does not bode well for the future of this blog.

I never thought I would see this day, the one where eating healthy was something I wanted more than something I just new I should do, now just to hit that day with running. I wish I could like it, I wish it didn't bore me to tears. Even with music after 20 minutes I am bored out of my skull and watching my mom's blinds bop up and down in my peripheral vision has generally made me cross eyed.

OK, running play list:

- You're the One I Want in the next episode - Grease vs. Dr. Dre
- You're Gonna Go Far Kid - Offspring
- We're not Gonna take it - Twisted Sister
- We built this city - Jefferson Starship
- Waterloo - ABBA
- Walkin' Out Yo Girlfriend - Unk vs. Avril Lavigne vs. Toni Basil
- Tequila Lip Gloss - Lil Mama vs. The Champs
- Teenagers - My Chemical Romance
- Summer of 69 - MXPX
- Stop! - Against Me
- Single Ladies (In Mayberry) - Bootie
- Shake Your Tail Feather - Ray Charles
- Shake Your Groove thing - Peaches and Herb
- Sgt. Pepper's Paradise - Beatles vs. Guns and Roses
- Sex on Fire - Kings of Leon
- Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy - Big & Rich
- The Power - Snap!
- Party Kisser - Bootie
- One Way or Another - Blondie
- Me and Julio Down by the School Yard - Me First and the Gimmie Gimmies
- Jenny Says - Cowboy Mouth
- If you want blood - AC/DC
- I Kissed A Girl - Katy Perry
- I Believe in a thing called love - The Darkness
- Here it goes again - Ok Go
- Goonies are Good Enough - Me First and the Gimmie Gimmies
- Gonna Make U Sweat - C+C Music Factory
- Eye of the Tiger - Rocky Soundtrack
- Dont Stop the Beat - Junior Senior
- Don't Stop Me Now - Queen
- Don't Stop Believing - Journey
- Does Your Mother Know - ABBA
- Devil's Dance Floor - Flogging Molly
- Detox - Amy Winehouse vs. Britney Spears
- Black Horse and a Cherry Tree - KT Tunstall
- Black Beatles - Beatles vs. Black Eyed Peas
- Love Shack - B52s
- Anyway you want it - Journey
- A-Punk - Vampire Weekend

Most of these you can find on itunes, anything labeled bootie or with a vs. is a mashup from the bootie website.  If you have questions about where to find one, let me know.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

The Horrid Befores.

Nobody, and I really mean nobody, likes their before picture. No one wants to take it, no one wants to look at it, I really want to print mine out and burn them, and maybe when I hit my ultimate goal I will do just that. But here's why I think they are important; my visual memory is horrible, especially with things I see every day, like myself. I know for a fact I have lost weight and that I am smaller than I was in January, but in general, I still look at myself and feel like I am always the same and still need to loose more. The whole memory thing is bad enough that if I shaved my head today, tomorrow I would probably be startled by a picture of me with hair. So having the concrete, side by side evidence is really helpful. Now I have gone so far as to post my horrid before online for the world to see, you don't have to do that, but take one and hide it away and bring it out on days where you still feel like an elephant despite all the progress you've made.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Raise your hand if you fit into your Sr. Prom Dress

This is what happens when I go home when I've lost weight, my mother makes me try on all the dresses in my old bedroom closet. So TA DA!

Also, I did an updated normal shot, and may I never have to look at the 1/1/09 shot again, cuase wow do I not like that.
From here on out I think photos may come on Foto Friday.

A Hiatus and Cupcakes

So if you are reading this blog, you were probably a part of the Biggest Loser Challenge that Maureen and I set up; either that or you know me and for some reason you want to read about my quest to shed some weight and get in rockstar shape.

For those of you that don't have the basics, here's the short version.

-I've just finished a 4 month weight loss competition.
-I've lost 32 lbs (for those of you with my %, you can do the math, I don't really care)
-I worked my butt off.
-I'm taking a few days off from thinking about everything I eat.
-Round 2 starts next Thursday and goes until the beginning of September.
-My mother declared that some one should keep a daily blog of round two with before and after pictures. So here is said blog.

Now for the bloggy narrative portion of this entry.

Round one finished yesterday with final results announced this morning. Yours truly won by all of 0.2% or something like that. So I'm kind of stoked about that, plus the money is nice. :) Yesterday I ate all the things I have been craving for the last few months but haven't really eaten, tacos, pasta, and sprinkles red velvet cupcake. I think I am still full :) It was interesting to discover just how much my body was like WTF is all of this, I want a salad. So I guess that's a good sign that this is a life style change and not just a diet. I was planning to not really pay attention all week, but I don't really think that will last I feel way to out of wack from yesterday, plus I don't really want that much of a back slide. There is no way I ever want to see those 32lbs ever again. Having been informed that pictures are going to be key to this blog, here's one.

Clearly a before and after, however, it's from like a month ago, I think I've dropped something like 10lbs since that was taken, I will have to work on taking another one slash I will have to work on taking some more frequently. Thoughts on how frequently? Every Friday? Every 5 lbs? You all tell me what you want to see.

So where do I go from here? Well my key dates are my trip to Vegas mid June and Peter's wedding in early August. I would like to have lost another 10 by Vegas and would LOVE to be somewhere close to 30 for the wedding. So that's my inspiration, well that and making sure my mom doesn't win round 2; can't have that can we? (I can here her saying "you're such a brat" in my head right now)

So I believe this maiden post has gotten long enough, now it's up to you to tell me what you really want read about on here, the foods I find that are amazing, the workouts, the workout music, the holy crap am I thin yet moments?

Think Thin!