It’s been a while since I wrote anything here. I haven’t exactly felt like sharing, I still don’t, but I figure it’s high time to get some of the thoughts out of my head, if for no reason other than to make room for new ones.
This time last year I was 2 weeks in to round one and feeling great, I was losing weight, I was working out everyday, I was eating fairly well, this year I’m stuck. I feel like a shalump, I have no motivation to get up and do anything, I have reasons that should be motivating me, and yet I continue to sit on the couch with my bag of insert junk food here. I need to come up with a plan for a thinner decade and stick to it, I’m just not sure how, what really had me so motivated last year and so sedentary this year. Was it just the competition? Was my will power so much greater then? Or was I just happier? Maybe it’s a combination of all of it. So what is my plan of attack? Not a clue. I need to get back into a rhythm, purge ALL of the junk food from my house and get my butt moving. Is it silly to bring back the old star chart? List all my weekly/daily goals and every time I do it give myself a star? Does 20 stars = a pedicure? 40? It’s an idea ….
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Thursday, September 10, 2009
And so begins Phase III.
Phase 2 was kind of a bust for me. Rather than lose weight I gained some of it back, some but not all, that’s what I keep reminding myself. So I am recommitting, now is the time, bla bla bla.In the mean time, my jaw is currently mucho screwed up, which means most days all I can really eat is yogurt and soup, maybe this will turn out to be a great diet and then I’ll win, that would be awesome, or at least lemonade out of the lemon that is currently my jaw.
So bring it on, let’s be thin by new years!
So bring it on, let’s be thin by new years!
Friday, July 24, 2009
The good kind of pain?
I am sore like woah, it's a good thing I work upstairs and am up and down them all day, wait, I reversed that.
On Wednesday I went to http://thedaileymethod.com/. They just opened a new location 3 blocks from my house and I figured if there was a worthwhile class walking distance from my house then there was no excuse. And I've only heard good things about it; people say you can really see the difference. I can see why, if it really is going to tone all the muscles I am newly aware of thanks to the pain, then I should be rip, roaring hott in no time. The class was hard and really pushed my muscles hard, but I think I will still need to supplement with cardio on my own (and stop eating ice cream). I'm putting two days between class one and class two so hopefully I don't die, I hope to do it more frequently than that. It's really what I've been looking for in terms of something that will strengthen and increase flexability like yoga will without out all the meditating.
Here's to kicking it up a notch.
On Wednesday I went to http://thedaileymethod.com/. They just opened a new location 3 blocks from my house and I figured if there was a worthwhile class walking distance from my house then there was no excuse. And I've only heard good things about it; people say you can really see the difference. I can see why, if it really is going to tone all the muscles I am newly aware of thanks to the pain, then I should be rip, roaring hott in no time. The class was hard and really pushed my muscles hard, but I think I will still need to supplement with cardio on my own (and stop eating ice cream). I'm putting two days between class one and class two so hopefully I don't die, I hope to do it more frequently than that. It's really what I've been looking for in terms of something that will strengthen and increase flexability like yoga will without out all the meditating.
Here's to kicking it up a notch.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
What defines a transformation?
I started thinking about this because one of my favorite websites (modcloth.com) is running a contest about blogging about transformation, which I am already kind of doing (http://blog.modcloth.com/2009-07-09-announcing-the-terrific-transformations-contest?=6_9_transformations), and as much as I would love to win the cashola, I thought it would make a good blog entry anyways.
So what is my greatest transformation.
Dictionary.com has the following definition:
1. the act or process of transforming.
2. the state of being transformed
3. change in form, appearance, nature, or character.
As the first two are kind of self-defining, let’s go with number three. Looking at just change in form and appearance, than maybe this contest is my biggest transformation. Not only does my body look different but it has forced me to dress differently as well. I like to think it’s because I’m trying to be more girly but the truth lies somewhere between that intent and the fact that none of my pants fit. As the weight came off I began to be a bit more daring with my fashion choices, things that make you stand out rather than blend in; my green polk-a-dot dress decidedly does not blend in, neither do the feathers. It feels kind of superficial to define my greatest transformation as I lost a lot of weight though. Moving on, or maybe moving in, does my greatest transformation then become the lessons I learned from dating an asshole in college, or from spending time in Croatia? I feel like I’m still in the middle of my greatest transformation. I’m still learning far too much about myself, what I want to do and who I want to be; the person I am today is still evolving into the person I’m going to be tomorrow, next year, at twenty-ten (shudder), anything is possible.
So what is my greatest transformation.
Dictionary.com has the following definition:
1. the act or process of transforming.
2. the state of being transformed
3. change in form, appearance, nature, or character.
As the first two are kind of self-defining, let’s go with number three. Looking at just change in form and appearance, than maybe this contest is my biggest transformation. Not only does my body look different but it has forced me to dress differently as well. I like to think it’s because I’m trying to be more girly but the truth lies somewhere between that intent and the fact that none of my pants fit. As the weight came off I began to be a bit more daring with my fashion choices, things that make you stand out rather than blend in; my green polk-a-dot dress decidedly does not blend in, neither do the feathers. It feels kind of superficial to define my greatest transformation as I lost a lot of weight though. Moving on, or maybe moving in, does my greatest transformation then become the lessons I learned from dating an asshole in college, or from spending time in Croatia? I feel like I’m still in the middle of my greatest transformation. I’m still learning far too much about myself, what I want to do and who I want to be; the person I am today is still evolving into the person I’m going to be tomorrow, next year, at twenty-ten (shudder), anything is possible.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
It;'s time to get neurotic again
I am a slacker, I admit it.
I made this great push with round 1, did great, and now I'm doing nothing. I'm not gaining the weight back, but I'm also not losing weight. I am frustrated with myself. I know I can do it if I just buckle down, but I have had so much else going on that I haven't made it a priority, and I know I should and that I need to. Traveling and boys and being sick are just excuses, and I can't keep making them.
So here are my resolutions:
1) I will put EVERYTHING in fitday.com - If I can get obsessive about entering things in again I will eat better.
2) I will work out at least 5 days a week.
3) I will not beat myself up about feeling like a cow, I will just work harder.
4) If I have to obsess about how weird boys are, the treadmill is the perfect place to do it.
5) I will not stress/emotional eat.
6) No more desserts, except for cake on my birthday.
7) I will start doing yoga again, I miss being bendy.
I made this great push with round 1, did great, and now I'm doing nothing. I'm not gaining the weight back, but I'm also not losing weight. I am frustrated with myself. I know I can do it if I just buckle down, but I have had so much else going on that I haven't made it a priority, and I know I should and that I need to. Traveling and boys and being sick are just excuses, and I can't keep making them.
So here are my resolutions:
1) I will put EVERYTHING in fitday.com - If I can get obsessive about entering things in again I will eat better.
2) I will work out at least 5 days a week.
3) I will not beat myself up about feeling like a cow, I will just work harder.
4) If I have to obsess about how weird boys are, the treadmill is the perfect place to do it.
5) I will not stress/emotional eat.
6) No more desserts, except for cake on my birthday.
7) I will start doing yoga again, I miss being bendy.
Monday, June 8, 2009
My Longest Relationship
As the people in my life come and go, my relationship with food has been a constant. I know it needs to change, but old habits die hard.
I know I use food as a crutch, as something to quell the anxiety. Maybe it's becuase food is always the same, and there is something comforting about that. A taco is a taco, and it will continue to be a taco, smothered in guacamole goodness. It will always bring me a moment of joy no matter how crazy life gets. On a bad day when nothing is going my way and I have to pick between a salad that is good for me or a taco I know I love, I go to the taco every time. I wish I was one of those people who turn to exercise when stressed or frustrated, those people that have a bad day and can just run it off, instead I turn to food. This has to change, it's not the right attitude to have.
Everything I read says to think of food as fuel for your body, and that's it. That mentality handles the emotional eating, but I feel like this disregards the social aspect of eating though, because that is another whole issue. Dates, friends, even business meetings, all seem to focus around food, going out and getting a meal, socializing over coffee and scones. Often when I "diet" I feel like my social life suffers because I don't want to test my will power by agreeing to eat at places like California Pizza Kitchen where I can see all the yummy pizzas and avocado egg rolls but have to limit myself to a small salad, there is no fun in that. So do I offer to start cooking for everyone? That's a lot of work and can get pricy, plus I hate doing dishes.
So where does this leave me? I have no idea, I know I need to change, but I'm not in love with the solution yet.
I know I use food as a crutch, as something to quell the anxiety. Maybe it's becuase food is always the same, and there is something comforting about that. A taco is a taco, and it will continue to be a taco, smothered in guacamole goodness. It will always bring me a moment of joy no matter how crazy life gets. On a bad day when nothing is going my way and I have to pick between a salad that is good for me or a taco I know I love, I go to the taco every time. I wish I was one of those people who turn to exercise when stressed or frustrated, those people that have a bad day and can just run it off, instead I turn to food. This has to change, it's not the right attitude to have.
Everything I read says to think of food as fuel for your body, and that's it. That mentality handles the emotional eating, but I feel like this disregards the social aspect of eating though, because that is another whole issue. Dates, friends, even business meetings, all seem to focus around food, going out and getting a meal, socializing over coffee and scones. Often when I "diet" I feel like my social life suffers because I don't want to test my will power by agreeing to eat at places like California Pizza Kitchen where I can see all the yummy pizzas and avocado egg rolls but have to limit myself to a small salad, there is no fun in that. So do I offer to start cooking for everyone? That's a lot of work and can get pricy, plus I hate doing dishes.
So where does this leave me? I have no idea, I know I need to change, but I'm not in love with the solution yet.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Who's idea was this?
And why is typing to very hard?
I am a wreck, I very clearly need more sleep than this. This weekend was kind of epic in a number of ways, including epic diet/work out fail. I don't think strawberry sangira and seven layer dip are on the list of foods to eat if you want to lose weight, but they are oh so tasty. There was also very little sleeping this weekend which has me all screwed up. Then there is the fact that someone, I don't think it was me, decided that swimming at 6 AM this morning was a good idea, so good in fact that we are going to try to do it for the rest of the summer. Here's hoping 6 AM becomes a less painful time, somehow I don't think it will.
I've been having a hard time getting back on the diet horse. I have one excuse after another, oh I'm going on a date, oh we're having a BBQ, oh Dan's coming to town just to get burgers; I need to stop making excuses and just suck it up and utilize a little will power.
I am a wreck, I very clearly need more sleep than this. This weekend was kind of epic in a number of ways, including epic diet/work out fail. I don't think strawberry sangira and seven layer dip are on the list of foods to eat if you want to lose weight, but they are oh so tasty. There was also very little sleeping this weekend which has me all screwed up. Then there is the fact that someone, I don't think it was me, decided that swimming at 6 AM this morning was a good idea, so good in fact that we are going to try to do it for the rest of the summer. Here's hoping 6 AM becomes a less painful time, somehow I don't think it will.
I've been having a hard time getting back on the diet horse. I have one excuse after another, oh I'm going on a date, oh we're having a BBQ, oh Dan's coming to town just to get burgers; I need to stop making excuses and just suck it up and utilize a little will power.
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